HAVE A LETTER?
As this is a monthly show, we are always looking for letters. Those letters can be letters you have written or received, correspondence back and forth, old family letters, an ancient letter you found tucked behind the baseboard, a letter secreted inside a chest in the attic left by a previous tenant. They can be weird letters, sad letters, letters written by ghosts. They can be entirely made-up letters to you, from you, about you, about someone else or even a letter written to SOMETHING else. Someone once read a letter they imagined their car would write if their car “…had opposable thumbs.” The only specification is that it has to be in letter form. Here’s a wee example:
Dear Trader Joes,
There is no denying that I am a die-hard fan. A frequent flier, a consummate shopper and inhaler of your salty snacks. I love your tightly packed shelves filled with items I can’t do without. I know where every item is housed, could draw a treasure map for first-time shoppers of where to locate rosemary ham, luscious clam chowder and delectable Chaldiki olives. What I can’t seem to navigate however, with any sense of ease, grace or patience, is your PARKING LOT! Any of them and I have been to many Trader Joes in different cities and in different states! Why? Is it a test? Only the brave who master the lot can reap the TJ’s rewards? Is it so that when we finally blast through your front doors, frazzled yet victorious, we are likely to spend more money out of a sense of parking-lot accomplishment? Or are we so fatigued by driving round and round, gritting our teeth at those who insist on holding up all traffic so they can back in, that we have no resolve left? Are we rendered essentially defenseless against the free samples and exciting new products, leaving with twice as much as we planned to buy? Oh Joe! I’ll always be devoted to your 50% less salt dry roasted almonds, so think of me the next time you’re painting those parallel white lines. PLEASE!
Love,
Jayne
Live shows are recorded to become a podcast. You can submit questions or propose a letter to letters@readyourletter.com. If you’re a musician who would like to be featured on our show, shoot us an email too. We look forward to hearing from you soon.